Intimacy post partum: how do I tell my man to tone it down?
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@Amanda Brown thank you for this. I'm a month pp and I know my man is awaiting the okay at the 6 week appointment... I'm dreading it because then I don't have an excuse if you get what I mean? Not that I need one but it's easier to explain it through not being ready that way. I'll definitely keep an eye and do research
When I told my OB about this the last time I was pregnant he explained all of that to me and I was so relieved bc I finally had an explanation!!! Glad I could help message me if you need to talk about it or anything!
I so get what your saying but you also have to see it from his point of view, his clearly attracted to you and wants to give you affection to the mother of his child Intimacy is how alot of men show there love and they normally have higher sex drives than us so obviously with not having sex for these 6 weeks is different to them 🤣but yes he also needs to respect your boundaries being PP, but just try and enjoy the love and affection from him it may just be because of your hormones that your feeling this way and maybe in a few weeks time you may be ready and feel different, just try to keep an open mind and don't completely shut your brain off to that side of things otherwise yes you will find it hard x Also at least his giving you the attention momma and not out there cheating like alot of men do🙄😅
It's how we were made. Men is made to pro create and women is made to born children. Once the child is born ALL of our focus and attention goes into raising that child/ren. We don't need to make more. We've just had 1 and now our hormones, milk supply, strength literally everything is geared into making sure this child is cared for and looked after. Our perspective automatically changes which is why you loose all drive. It can literally be grossing you out as it really is the last thing on your mind. It can last for years too! But we were just made that way.
@Lauren “At least he’s giving you the attention and not out there cheating” that is BARE MINIMUM. Why are we praising a man for not cheating when his partner JUST had a baby ffs.
@Meg im not praising him nor is she 😅just saying at least he is giving her attention and not giving anything at all and out their cheating like alot of men!
Just tell him like you’ve kinda told us. He’s your partner and should understand straight away
@Lauren Respectfully, telling a woman to just "try and enjoy it" is not appropriate. She is voicing her discomfort and is only 1 month PP. She likely needs to focus on healing both physically and emotionally not appeasing her partner's sexual needs. Regardless of sex drive, after pregnancy, birth and PP experience, the least your partner can do is accommodate your recovery by giving you all the time and space you need. If you try and force it, you could end up resenting your partner and making the situation worse.
@Sarah right !!!! who cares what his needs are when she’s JUST given birth and she’s already told him it’s making her uncomfortable
I have the same problem and this actually can last a really long time. I lost my drive during pregnancy, and with my last pregnancy too. Never returned it was even worse after I had the babies. I had them all back to back so my hormones have never had time to even out and I’ve never seen the other side of it. It’s about prolactin or something that basically blocks production of sex hormones and I think it has something to do w BF. Idk how far along PP you are but definitely keep an eye on that, research the hormonal reason behind it and educate your man about it bc he doesn’t know and it can cause a lot of problems in your relationship bc of the rejection :( my husband literally thinks I am not attracted to him and stuff it’s so sad I feel awful. It’s been going on 4 years now, we have 3. I kept getting pregnant only bc I would sometimes have sex bc I wanted to make him feel good. But I literally don’t want it… like ever.