Hair touching fetish

I don’t think that’s the correct use of fetish 💀 but that sounds like the reason why a lot of women get the “mom chop”

@Harlie lmao yeah a fetish is sexual

@Haley lmaooo trust me I know. There’s a big difference between having a fetish and a toddler using his mom for comfort

Fetish and a 3.5 year old don’t go in the same sentence. Just to clarify a fetish references an act that provides some form of sexual gratification. It’s really inappropriate to relate this to a 3.5 year old or any aged child for that matter. Just be wary of your word choices so you don’t get red flagged

Agree with the fetish comments 😭🤣 My 2 year old has pulled or held onto my hair from around 7 months old and still needs it to go to sleep now.. I have zero advice on how to stop it but I have got his favourite Teddy with hair extensions sown into the back of it 🤣 until he wakes and realises he’s been fooled and hits the roof 🙃

Fixation not fetish.

Wow and this is why I don’t normally ask questions, this is googles response to the word fetish.. A fetish is an extremely strong devotion to something. There are sexual fetishes and nonsexual fetishes: both are obsessive interests. I am sorry you ladies only associate it to a sexual reference, and if I have offended anyone in anyway I am truely sorry.. I will go back to staying quiet and never asking questions, can’t believe this is the world we live in where people get hung up on stupid shit and don’t actually help when someone is asking for simple advice. I am really struggling mentally and having no family or close friends nearby makes parenting super hard! But thanks for your thoughts. Have a great Christmas!

@Rachel Izett I don’t think you’ve offended anyone lovely, I think that word is just commonly used “sexually” I personally have never heard of it used in any other way than sexually but you clearly didn’t mean it in that way, hope my tiny bit of advice helps in some way! I know how exhausting it can be when they just want your hair and you want to just shave it all off 🤣🫣

@Rachel Izett erm that took a left. I understand you’re struggling with the hair pulling (I have locs and have lost 7 due to baby pulling them out SO I GET IT) but using the term ‘fetish’ in relation to a 3.5-year-old is completely inappropriate, and correcting that isn’t ‘getting hung up on stupid stuff.’ Words matter, especially when discussing children. If you’re genuinely seeking advice, it’s important to use language that accurately reflects the situation. Playing the victim when someone points out a mistake isn’t helpful, especially if you’re asking for input. Parenting is hard—no one disputes that—but deflecting criticism with a guilt trip doesn’t change the fact that the term you used was inappropriate. I would have thought you would have taken the advice from everyone and corrected that. As it’s not something you want to “accidentally” say in public. I hope you find the support you need. Have a good holiday.

@Rachel Izett Sorry you felt piled on. In the US and UK at least (where all these ladies are from), fetish is used in an exclusively sexual context. A lot of times, the dictionary is outdated compared to popular usage. But maybe it’s different in NZ. That said, it sounds like your son is seeking sensory input and has developed a fixation on hair. I’d suggest looking into different toys like fidget spinners/cubes, maybe a toy with different types of strings, cloths with different textures, pop-its, etc. There are hundreds of options of sensory toys on Amazon. Also maybe look for a stuffed animal with long fur he can stroke (like a horse with a long tail/mane). They also make chewelry for children with oral fixations to encourage them not to chew on their fingers. Sensory toys and chewelry are often used for kids with autism or sensory processing disorder, but they can be helpful in other contexts too.

Hi Rachel, sorry we are surrounded by people who don't know the real definition of words which is almost everyone who replied, and also don't know how to look up a word for themselves and see if there are alternate definitions so they can check themselves and also admit to MISTAKES.... please don't go back into hiding and isolation bc of people who can't be the bigger person like you are. You are absolutely correct. English major here. Everyone else, educate yourselves. If you find an answer to the fetish, let me know. I believe my daughter's is worse but I don't know as I'm not living your exact situation. Mine is absolutely OBSESSED with my armpits. She's 4. She jams them up in there every second she can, jams them, scrapes them with her fingernails. I'm at a loss.

@Rebecca I'm in the US and just looked it up to make sure I wasn't crazy and sure enough... MAN I'm tired of being right. an excessive and irrational devotion or commitment to a particular thing. "he had a fetish for writing more opinions each year than any other justice

Just because there's a definition or understanding you haven't heard of, doesn't mean it doesn't exist.

@Lyfe it's literally not an inappropriate term. I can see why she felt attacked.

@Lyfe go ahead and major in English like I did and tell me I'm wrong 😂 the definition I pasted above is literally the second definition listed on Google in the US and has nothing to do with anything sexual. And I cant vouch for a stupid app 😂

@Blair either are correct.

Well I have a baby on the way so I didn’t experience that yet but I do have a brother that has that obsession with hair since he was a baby as well, he’s now 27 and never stopped loving to touch hair, my mom didn’t like it either so used to send him to my grandma because she didn’t mind 🤣 good luck with your LO

@Lianne I taught English for 5years in Lagos And the Uk. 🫠 lol I will not be arguing with you, please continue to use the word FETISH in reference to children since you’re right. 🙂 Thank you for the block, at least I don’t have to carry on reading your nonsense 😩

Your toddler does not have a fetish and either you need a dictionary or some therapy. Theres very little you can do to stop a toddler playing with your hair. Either tie it out of reach or cut it off.

My suggestion is (if u & son's father r ok with it) maybe look into an actual baby doll with hair for him to run his fingers thro and that way u can leave it hair down but he can use the baby doll's hair to soothe him

@Debbie you are aware a word can more than 1 definitions aren’t you ?

@Fay omg exactly thank you. Holy crap people.

@Debbie hope there's a dictionary under your Christmas tree, actually!

Some of these replies, wow. Fetish has more than one meaning, if you're ignorant enough to not know that, I'd suggest you educate yourself before making another mother feel bad. Do better.

@Debbie maybe ask Santa for a dictionary yourself!! Wow.

@Rachel Right?!?!? I feel like I'm taking crazy pills!!!!! Oh okay...words only have one definition now. The end 😂

@Lianne it sounds like the people that immediately jumped to the sexual definition in relation to a child, may need therapy themselves.

@Rachel Exactly. I love your do better comment. Happy Holidays, let me jump on a fellow mom about something I'm not even correct about.

@Lianne ignorance really must be bliss... happy Christmas ♡

@Rachel you too!

Generally the word “fetish” is used in a sexual context so I think that’s why people were concerned. Words meanings change over time and vary by culture like gay used to be used more as a synonym for happy but is now more often referring to a person in the lgbtq+ community. F*g in Britain is a cigarette but in the us it’s a slur. I personally did not think u meant fetish in a sexual way. I didn’t kno there was another non sexual definition but I assumed since you were talking about your child that it was not sexual and you were trying to say it was an obsession. Context is important and I do think it’s a bit weird people were getting so mad at you for using the word

Yikes I feel like this poor woman was just looking for a solution to a clear issue and all shes had his people arguing back and forth 🫣 Although I agree fetish isn’t normally a word I’d associate with children (and I did comment that i agreed it’s not a term I would personally Use) , I understand where she’s coming from, and understand she did not mean this in a sexual way as some of us have seen it. some comments I’ve read are absolutely awful from both sides! 😣 arguing amongst eachother isn’t helping this mum who clearly is going through it at the moment and is just looking for a solution. Be kind always guys, it’s not worth the fight. I stand on the hair extensions attached to a favourite teddy/comforter it’s a short fix hopefully for them to grow out of 🤞

@Lianne @Rachel Just because a word is in the dictionary doesn’t mean you should use it in that way if current common usage only uses it in one way. Language changes all the time, much faster now because of social media, and updates to language are extremely slow to make it into the dictionary. I never said fetish doesn’t have alternate meanings, just that in common practice it’s almost exclusively used in a sexual context so therefore it’s not the correct term to describe this child’s behavior. For example, Merriam Webster still lists THREE alternate definitions for “gay” other than being LGBTQ, even though that’s now how the word “gay” is exclusively used. People don’t use “gay” to mean “merry” or “bright” anymore, although literature and Christmas carols may use the older definition. That’s my point, languages evolves and the dictionary doesn’t always keep up 😂

@Rebecca I get what you're saying, I really do, but where I am in the US I have absolutely heard people use fetish in nonsexual terms!

My son also used to only fall asleep whilst playing with my hair! It just got so annoying eventually and sometimes painful from him pulling it i had to tell him to stop and just hold my hand instead. This was when he turned 3 and him sleeping in his own bed at that point also helped as i wasnt lying down with him for him to reach my hair x

Mine would also reach into my scalp and pull my hair out if i had it in a bun🥲

@May my boy is the same! He will Rip anything out of my hair if I dared to tie it up 🫣🤣 transitioning into his own room currently and it’s been a struggle!

This might sound nuts but would a doll with hair help him maybe? Or even a lovie that feels similar to your hair?

@Amy we tried him in his own room at 2 and he did great! However i didnt🤣i had the worst anxiety so i bought his bed into our room!! It was the best decision i ever made its a toddler car bed so doesnt take much space, hes 4 now and we still do this, he has his own bed we have our own space but i feel safe knowing hes in the same room🥺we wont be moving him till im ready lol but were moving house next year so him and my 1 year old who will be nearly 2 at that point will share so i might feel a little better! Maybe you could do the same?x

@May hahah I could have written this myself I am exactly the same! My husband said it’s me not our son that has the issue 🤣 we’ve got him a double bed in his room now so me and the hubby take in turns to sleep in with him as it just works best for us but the last two weeks he’s slept in with the hubby instead of me and I’m proud but also so sad .. can’t win really haha!

@Amy awww haha! One day they wont want to sleep with us so why not make the most of it🥲

@May 100% agree !

When I read the title of the post, I ran to google before coming to comments because my initial reaction was shock that someone would call this a fetish. I was today old when I learnt that fetish can be used in a non sexual way. I’m also seeing 95% of the reactions and seeing that I am not the only one who thought that. For this reason, I wouldn’t use this word because of its general connotations to describe something that my 3.5 year old does to seek comfort. I would rather avoid any misunderstanding. But also, no need to pile on this lady for using it now that we all know better. In answer to your question. This is normal. My son sticks his whole arm down my top, a lady posted about her kid touching her boob, I know a 4 year old who is obsessed with his mums belly button. I’m starting to say ‘no thank you, I don’t like it’ to my son. I’m teaching him about body autonomy and that he has a choice. Part of it is helping him understand that we’re all allowed to set our own boundaries.

He could have a form of autism. I saw on a video a mom who made a braid outta her own hair & cut it off 2 gave it 2 her baby to combat this. It was a win win 4 the kid & the mom. Have you heard of Autistic Stimming?

Search up : Self regulatory stimulating repetitive behavior🩵 on YouTube.

https://youtu.be/DYVI8YxEL0k?si=NlTD1E34G8_M5Ivg